When vacationing with Fido, many travelers are concerned - & with good reason - about the comfort & safety of flying with their 'best friend'.
Hey, today even some canines - particularly the brachycephalic breeds (pugs, bulldogs & other 'short snouted' pups for those of us without a veterinarian degree) - have been banned from many commercial airlines.
Why? Too many were arriving in a permanent state of rigor mortis.
A bad start to your kids' fun week at the Magic Kingdom.
To prevent the above, one airline has gone to the dogs - literally. And that may be a good thing.
Pet Airways - yes, readers, that's its actual name - offers flights from 8 US cities (LA, Phoenix. Denver, Chicago, NY/Long Island, Baltimore/DC, Atlanta & Fort Lauderdale) each week.
Their 'Pawsengers' - as they like to call them - are all dogs & cats with the occasional bird, snake or even pot bellied oinker slipped into the mix.
And you thought pigs couldn't fly.
PA took a Twin Prop Shorts 360 - a 36 seat passenger plane - & refitted it with 80 appropriate 'Pawsenger' size enclosures.
Everything has been done to guarantee that is this nicest, safest, temperature/pressure controlled flying dog house propeller-ing through any sky.
But this is strictly 'animals only'. Owners have to find their own mode of transportation.
PA's entire route is flown once a week.
That means every Monday this mobile menagerie leaves LAX at 4:30 pm, stops in 6 cities & arrives in Lauderdale Wednesday 1:35pm.
3 hours later, it flies back - with the same 6 stops - landing in LA Friday 9:35am.
So, if Rover is flying coast to coast - one way - it's going to be 6 stops & take 2 days.
A long way between fire plugs.
But don't worry, all bow wows get off the plane to do 'their duties' in the 'walking cities' of Denver, Chicago, NY & Baltimore.
Wait a minute, isn't there enough of that 'stuff' in NY & Baltimore already without flying more in?
Anyway, each flight also has one flight attendant on board in case Bowser craves a milk bone, desires an emergency 'behind the ear' scratch or just needs to give someone his paw at 5,000 feet.
Ok, the service isn't cheap. NY to Lauderdale prices start at $249 each way & does go up depending on the animal's size.
I 'booked' a mythical 40 lbs. Great Dane for a NY-FL Pet Airways November flight & was quoted $898.58 RT - with 2 stops.
For comparison, I could fly Delta - non stop - the same day for just under $240.
But for some, the 'price = peace of mind' ratio is worth it.
Beware - before booking just make sure that your greyhound is definitely going. There are very, very hefty cancellation fees if Spot decides he prefers staying home to chase his neighborhood cats.
And since there are a few more restrictions & conditions, I'll let the airline 'bark' for itself at - http://www.petairways.com/
Better to get the growl from the flying dog company's mouth than to be hearing it from this horse's ass.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
'WAITER, THERE'S SOME SOUP ON MY FLIES!'
Remember the children's rhyme:
'There was an old woman who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.'?
Well today that same fly eating crone would be very much alive & possibly working on her 2nd million in culinary sales. For she was on the forefront of the next big thing in international cuisine - dining on insects.
Yes, kids, the creepy fact is that slurping down 'bugs' is not limited to grossed out 'Fear Factor' contestants. Today over 75% of the world includes multi-legged, crawling creatures as part of their diets.
And they are choosing these tasty treats from over 1000 different species.
So there's a very good chance that you may encounter some 'cockroach cooking' sooner than later in your travels.
Yum.
Hey, before you turn your nose or barf at the thought of a thousand tiny legs tickling your throat on their one way trip to your belly, remember that there are people in this world who consider dining on caterpillars, grubs & beetles as being a great delicacy...
... but they would never, ever let something as disgusting - in their eyes - as a shrimp or lobster get past their lips.
Never mind a raw oyster.
You see, it's all in perspective.
The truth of the matter is that insects are the super sustainable food. They grow very quickly. Many are low in fat but rich with proteins, vitamins & minerals.
Plus they need much less land, water & food to nurture than farm animals.
In other words - the perfect crop.
Besides, you've already been eating bugs for a very long time. And I don't mean the ones that accidently fly down your open, snoring pie hole.
Ever read FDA standards for the food you eat?
Well, canned tomatoes can have 5 fly eggs & 1 maggot per 500 grams...
... frozen broccoli could house 60 mites per 100 grams...
... ground cinnamon - that you like to sprinkle on your french toast - is allowed 400 hundred insect fragments plus 1 rodent hair per 100 grams...
... & that peanut butter you pack into junior's lunchbox may have 30 insect fragments + that tasty, nutritious rodent hair per 100 grams...
... & ALL STILL PASS FDA STANDARDS.
BTW, a 28oz jar of Skippy is almost 800 grams - you do the math.
Double yum!
'Ok,' you say. 'But bugs will never be intentionally served on good old USA tables!'
Sorry Jack but the fact is: insects have already crawled onto American restaurant menus.
Today you can dine on a variety of larvae, ants & their closest cousins at restaurants in LA, NYC, DC, Chicago & MA.
Plus they are literally jumping onto plates in more eateries across the country every day.
And they are being featured as the real deal on TV cooking shows.
So you might not have to wait 'til your next trip to Timbuktu for your 1st 'buggy' encounter.
Ok, you accidently walk into one of these trendy grasshopper grills. What do you order?
Well, unlike many exotic meats, none of these creatures taste like chicken. But you may have luck with these:
Termites - either raw, roasted or fried. Those in the know say they taste like carrots.
Palette pleasing perhaps, but not quite your 'veggie' of choice?
Then there's the Palm Weevil Larva. This fat grub is eaten straight from the tree, skewered and roasted over hot coals or fried in flour and wrapped like a tamale.
Raw it's coconut-ish. Cooked it reminds some of bacon.
Oh, coconut makes you gag & you already had enough bacon with your breakfast eggs?
Ok, how about a mouth watering plate of 'Huhu Grubs'.
Although - to the untrained eye - they might look like big, fat maggots, New Zealanders eat these - either raw or sauteed - by the bucketful. Loaded with protein, the claim is they taste like peanut butter.
And, unlike a jar of Jif, you'll always know exactly how many insect parts are really in each gram - 100%.
'There was an old woman who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.'?
Well today that same fly eating crone would be very much alive & possibly working on her 2nd million in culinary sales. For she was on the forefront of the next big thing in international cuisine - dining on insects.
Yes, kids, the creepy fact is that slurping down 'bugs' is not limited to grossed out 'Fear Factor' contestants. Today over 75% of the world includes multi-legged, crawling creatures as part of their diets.
And they are choosing these tasty treats from over 1000 different species.
So there's a very good chance that you may encounter some 'cockroach cooking' sooner than later in your travels.
Yum.
Hey, before you turn your nose or barf at the thought of a thousand tiny legs tickling your throat on their one way trip to your belly, remember that there are people in this world who consider dining on caterpillars, grubs & beetles as being a great delicacy...
... but they would never, ever let something as disgusting - in their eyes - as a shrimp or lobster get past their lips.
Never mind a raw oyster.
You see, it's all in perspective.
The truth of the matter is that insects are the super sustainable food. They grow very quickly. Many are low in fat but rich with proteins, vitamins & minerals.
Plus they need much less land, water & food to nurture than farm animals.
In other words - the perfect crop.
Besides, you've already been eating bugs for a very long time. And I don't mean the ones that accidently fly down your open, snoring pie hole.
Ever read FDA standards for the food you eat?
Well, canned tomatoes can have 5 fly eggs & 1 maggot per 500 grams...
... frozen broccoli could house 60 mites per 100 grams...
... ground cinnamon - that you like to sprinkle on your french toast - is allowed 400 hundred insect fragments plus 1 rodent hair per 100 grams...
... & that peanut butter you pack into junior's lunchbox may have 30 insect fragments + that tasty, nutritious rodent hair per 100 grams...
... & ALL STILL PASS FDA STANDARDS.
BTW, a 28oz jar of Skippy is almost 800 grams - you do the math.
Double yum!
'Ok,' you say. 'But bugs will never be intentionally served on good old USA tables!'
Sorry Jack but the fact is: insects have already crawled onto American restaurant menus.
Today you can dine on a variety of larvae, ants & their closest cousins at restaurants in LA, NYC, DC, Chicago & MA.
Plus they are literally jumping onto plates in more eateries across the country every day.
And they are being featured as the real deal on TV cooking shows.
So you might not have to wait 'til your next trip to Timbuktu for your 1st 'buggy' encounter.
Ok, you accidently walk into one of these trendy grasshopper grills. What do you order?
Well, unlike many exotic meats, none of these creatures taste like chicken. But you may have luck with these:
Termites - either raw, roasted or fried. Those in the know say they taste like carrots.
Palette pleasing perhaps, but not quite your 'veggie' of choice?
Then there's the Palm Weevil Larva. This fat grub is eaten straight from the tree, skewered and roasted over hot coals or fried in flour and wrapped like a tamale.
Raw it's coconut-ish. Cooked it reminds some of bacon.
Oh, coconut makes you gag & you already had enough bacon with your breakfast eggs?
Ok, how about a mouth watering plate of 'Huhu Grubs'.
Although - to the untrained eye - they might look like big, fat maggots, New Zealanders eat these - either raw or sauteed - by the bucketful. Loaded with protein, the claim is they taste like peanut butter.
And, unlike a jar of Jif, you'll always know exactly how many insect parts are really in each gram - 100%.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
THE VEGAS $11.11 SHOW DEAL
Those clever peeps at Caesar's Entertainment hotels (Caesar's Palace, Flamingo, Rio, Planet Hollywood, Paris, Bally's, Imperial Palace, O'Shea's & Bill's Gambling Palace) are offering tickets to 11 of their live Vegas shows for one day - Friday 11/11/11.
The price per: $11. 11. See the connection?
But is this a good deal?
It's the same as the answer to old age incontinence - 'Depends'.
First, get it out of your head that you're going to snag seats for Elton, Celine, Barry, Rod, Penn & Teller or even Donnie & Marie at that price.
The 11+ buys you entry to 'B' shows like 'X Burlesque', 'Legends In Concert', Chippendale's Dance Show, Dirk Arthur's 'Wild Magic' & 'Mac King's Comedy Magic Show'.
Not bad acts. Some are a very entertaining way to spend 60 minutes or so.
And Caesar's published 'retail' price for these 11 shows ranges from $29.95 for Mac King to a whopping $69 for the transvestites at 'Frank Marino's Divas'.
So that $11 now looks like a real steal deal. Right?
Well.... you have to remember this is Vegas & price tags are as valid as those in any used car lot.
The truth is - with a little extra effort - you actually can do better than the 11.
For example: Mac King - not to pick on him for his show is one of the best ways to spend an afternoon hour on the strip - but you can possibly get his tickets for free. I have, many times. Check out those coupon books that you can find all over town.
The fact is that all these 11 shows (& many other '2nd tier' offerings) are highly discounted practically everyday. Somewhere there's a coupon, a freebee, a flyer, a handout with a deal. All you have to do is look.
Or ask. Your hotel concierge will have a ton of offers. As will any casino info desk. Utilize them.
But - if you find yourself in Sin City on 11/11, want to see a show, don't need a headliner's name above the title & are not in the 'researcher' mode - an 11 dollar ducat just might be your ticket.
The price per: $11. 11. See the connection?
But is this a good deal?
It's the same as the answer to old age incontinence - 'Depends'.
First, get it out of your head that you're going to snag seats for Elton, Celine, Barry, Rod, Penn & Teller or even Donnie & Marie at that price.
The 11+ buys you entry to 'B' shows like 'X Burlesque', 'Legends In Concert', Chippendale's Dance Show, Dirk Arthur's 'Wild Magic' & 'Mac King's Comedy Magic Show'.
Not bad acts. Some are a very entertaining way to spend 60 minutes or so.
And Caesar's published 'retail' price for these 11 shows ranges from $29.95 for Mac King to a whopping $69 for the transvestites at 'Frank Marino's Divas'.
So that $11 now looks like a real steal deal. Right?
Well.... you have to remember this is Vegas & price tags are as valid as those in any used car lot.
The truth is - with a little extra effort - you actually can do better than the 11.
For example: Mac King - not to pick on him for his show is one of the best ways to spend an afternoon hour on the strip - but you can possibly get his tickets for free. I have, many times. Check out those coupon books that you can find all over town.
The fact is that all these 11 shows (& many other '2nd tier' offerings) are highly discounted practically everyday. Somewhere there's a coupon, a freebee, a flyer, a handout with a deal. All you have to do is look.
Or ask. Your hotel concierge will have a ton of offers. As will any casino info desk. Utilize them.
But - if you find yourself in Sin City on 11/11, want to see a show, don't need a headliner's name above the title & are not in the 'researcher' mode - an 11 dollar ducat just might be your ticket.
Friday, October 28, 2011
A '20 HAND' WHAT?
Ok, most of you have heard of a 21 gun salute, Billboard's top 20
tunes, casino Blackjack 21 & even 20 blackbirds baked in some sort of dessert.
But I'll bet cash to krispy kreams that very few of you have ever heard of - & even fewer have had the pleasure of experiencing - the '20 Hand Duo Massage'.
But maybe you'd like to.
That '20' is the 'not so well publicized' brain child of Maui's Grand Wailea Resort's Spa Grande PR guys. It celebrates their 20th anniversary in the biz.
Basically, the 'duo' of 20HDM is you & your honey both enjoying a whopping 2 1/2 hour massage, via the 20 hands of 10 trained massage therapists.
Oooooh. My muscles are already relaxing.
You each get 5 MTs working on different body parts (that's 10 hands per - for the math challenged). And they perform their digital magic all at the same time.
Can you even imagine?
The idea is that when you get a traditional massage, your brain concentrates on where the massager's hands are pushing, pulling & kneading.
Not bad, right?
But when you multiple that by 5 pairs ppk-ing (at the very same time) all that stimulation overload confuses your noggin & makes it impossible to concentrate on any one spot.
The brain actually gives up trying to think & allows you to be totally immersed in hedonistic relaxation.
It could result in the 'ahhhhh' heard round the world.
Is this a deal you can't refuse or what?
Unfortunately there's always a 'what'. The price for this baby is a whopping 2,000 bucks. Broken down that's 100 smackers per MT hand & $20 per MT finger/thumb.
But that's for 2 people & includes the tip.
Look, these 10 guys have to practice giving a 20HDM at least once a week to be sharp on the 'palm to body' choreography. For 2000 big ones you wouldn't want them to be bumping into each other & interrupting your ecstatic flow, would you?
So all 10 must move as smoothly & coordinated as a performance dance team.
Ok - before you all flood this resort with 'practice massage volunteer' applications - they only do rehearsals on a member of their own team.
Hmmm. Kinda makes you want to go out & snag a MT license & a Maui plane pass, doesn't it?
This service has been available since late summer (& will be offered 'til December '12). Can you guess who has booked one of these sensual sessions?
A movie star? Politician? A major financier?
The answer is no one.
That's right, even those in Donald Trump's tax bracket have passed on what could be the world's most extravagant dive into pure pleasure.
So this opens it up for you & your sweetie to be the 1st.
I know, $2000 is a bit much, but give up your daily trip to Starbucks for 6 or so months & you might save that. Possibly more.
There ARE a few other ways of making you the recipient of the 1st paid 20 Hand Duo Massage, but I can't tell you any of them now.
I'm a little jumpy from giving up coffee & almost late for my initial massage therapist class.
tunes, casino Blackjack 21 & even 20 blackbirds baked in some sort of dessert.
But I'll bet cash to krispy kreams that very few of you have ever heard of - & even fewer have had the pleasure of experiencing - the '20 Hand Duo Massage'.
But maybe you'd like to.
That '20' is the 'not so well publicized' brain child of Maui's Grand Wailea Resort's Spa Grande PR guys. It celebrates their 20th anniversary in the biz.
Basically, the 'duo' of 20HDM is you & your honey both enjoying a whopping 2 1/2 hour massage, via the 20 hands of 10 trained massage therapists.
Oooooh. My muscles are already relaxing.
You each get 5 MTs working on different body parts (that's 10 hands per - for the math challenged). And they perform their digital magic all at the same time.
Can you even imagine?
The idea is that when you get a traditional massage, your brain concentrates on where the massager's hands are pushing, pulling & kneading.
Not bad, right?
But when you multiple that by 5 pairs ppk-ing (at the very same time) all that stimulation overload confuses your noggin & makes it impossible to concentrate on any one spot.
The brain actually gives up trying to think & allows you to be totally immersed in hedonistic relaxation.
It could result in the 'ahhhhh' heard round the world.
Is this a deal you can't refuse or what?
Unfortunately there's always a 'what'. The price for this baby is a whopping 2,000 bucks. Broken down that's 100 smackers per MT hand & $20 per MT finger/thumb.
But that's for 2 people & includes the tip.
Look, these 10 guys have to practice giving a 20HDM at least once a week to be sharp on the 'palm to body' choreography. For 2000 big ones you wouldn't want them to be bumping into each other & interrupting your ecstatic flow, would you?
So all 10 must move as smoothly & coordinated as a performance dance team.
Ok - before you all flood this resort with 'practice massage volunteer' applications - they only do rehearsals on a member of their own team.
Hmmm. Kinda makes you want to go out & snag a MT license & a Maui plane pass, doesn't it?
This service has been available since late summer (& will be offered 'til December '12). Can you guess who has booked one of these sensual sessions?
A movie star? Politician? A major financier?
The answer is no one.
That's right, even those in Donald Trump's tax bracket have passed on what could be the world's most extravagant dive into pure pleasure.
So this opens it up for you & your sweetie to be the 1st.
I know, $2000 is a bit much, but give up your daily trip to Starbucks for 6 or so months & you might save that. Possibly more.
There ARE a few other ways of making you the recipient of the 1st paid 20 Hand Duo Massage, but I can't tell you any of them now.
I'm a little jumpy from giving up coffee & almost late for my initial massage therapist class.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
TARHEELS FOR A DAY
A Saturday or so ago in Chapel Hill, Sandy & I were surprised with college football tix via the generosity of her son Matt & his charming SO Jackie (both UNC researchers with PhDs) .
So - being just a few decades past our sophomore years (slightly north of 4 for me. Sandy refuses to divulge her #s) - we decided to relive our youth, jump whole hog into the college experience & actually become 100% bonafide Tarheels for a day.
Boohla, boohla!
Step 1 in this transformation - a Friday trip to Dicks Sporting Goods. Our goal: a genuine Tarheel themed grill.
I mean what's college ball without tailgating? We WERE going 100%, right?
And TH blue it had to be - preferably stickered with a tar splotched toe. We would accept no substitute.
And to hell with the cost!
Ok, but who could pass up an $8.95 grill? And the lid is practically TC blue - if you squint & are color blind.
No doubt that damned Dick probably went to the University of Miami - our gridiron opponent of the day - & was trying to make us lose our TH spirit by tempting our 'cheapskate' gene.
Impossible!
Er... that is until we read those hellish 3 little words that have caused fathers to lose Christmas Eve sleep & grown men to weep ...
...'some assembly required'.
Obvious Dr. Matt didn't do his dissertation on 'grill building'. And I'm never quite sure which way you turn that screw...
But after a few hours & a couple of false starts...
... success!
And 4 hours later - also called 'the next morning' - voila:
Even the picture is enough to make your mouth water.
And the 'more than a couple' off screen beers weren't bad either.
We had found the perfect tailgating spot.
Ok, that perfect spot cost $20 & there was a big sign that warned 'Absolutely No Charcoal Grills!'. No wonder Dick - that capitalist crook - charged less than a 10. You couldn't use the damned thing.
Seeing the 'ANCG' sign made both our faces & spirits drop.
But the fee collector grabbed our 20 quicker than Mitt Romney changes positions on health care & said - from the corner of his mouth - 'Out of sight, out of mind'.
The 6 sweetest words possible.
We were in!
And with the tons of tailgaters legally propane-ing it, a little charcoal went unnoticed - even though we were parked directly across from a fully manned police substation.
Hey, we were ready with some rib bribes ... but the men (& women) in blue let the charcoal burn - probably happy that we weren't burning something else.
Step 2 in the transform - TH hats & shirts.
Ok, my chapeau was probably previously worn by the only conehead UNC grad in college history...
...but smart shopper Sandy somehow found an official TH shirt for under $12 - they even put her name on the back -
at no extra charge.
Is every Chapel Hill merchant aware of the 'cheap gene'? Hmmmm.
Anyway, we were well on the way to 'Tarheel-ness'.
Soon we were taking the short hike to the stadium with 80 thousand or so of our - now - best TH blue wearing buds...
... looking as Tarheel-ly as anyone.
The place was a sell out.
But Dr. Matt snagged us 40 yd line ducats, 5 rows in back of the UNC bench. The best seats we've ever had.
Maybe he DID do his dissertation on 'ticket nabbing'.
Unfortunately - as TV fans saw in living color - Miami won .
No doubt some TH faithful were hoping to see alum LB Lawrence back in pads...
... or RB Kelvin take a few handoffs.
But it wasn't to be.
Although - after a bad 1st quarter - the 'Heels' did step it up & were in the game 'til the end. They were driving for the winning points when time ran out.
Close, but no Tiparillo.
Boo.
But, on the positive side, my TH transformation must have been complete.
I felt as sad as anyone in the stadium.
But, remembering that even this post-TH body probably still moved like a Maytag on the dance floor, I opted to only 'boogie' back to the car.
I mean, wouldn't bad hoofing be disrespectful to the proud Tarheel history & heritage that I reverently reflected by the wearing of my TH hat?
Even if its previous owner may have worn it in a couple of Saturday Night Live skits.
Friday, October 21, 2011
DON'T BE A TURKEY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
If you think you're going to get a last minute - or even an 'any minute' - 'el cheapo' flight this holiday season, there may be more than one turkey at your Thanksgiving dinner.
The sad truth is that the price of T'day & Xmas flights are up - depending on which web 'air fare compare' site you check- from 8% to a whopping 18% over last year.
And even at that price most seats (over 80%) are already booked.
Yowsa!
Ok, before you cancel the candied yams, comb your closet for 're-gifts' & tell Grandma that she'll be gumming the drumstick solo, there are a few things you could do to avoid bankrupcy & still fly those a 'little less friendly' skies:
1. Use Alternate Routes.
A seemingly out of the way stop or two on way to your 'chosen celebration city' could lower costs.
True, it will take you longer to get there, but it will also take longer to get you to the poor house.
2. Try Alternate Cities.
Ok, we know Auntie Grezelda lives in the big city close to a large international airport, but many big cities have smaller airports in smaller burgs a reasonable train or car ride away.
Check these out. The $avings may $tuff some holiday $pirit back in your $tocking.
3. Celebrate In Europe.
How about forgetting 'over the river & through the woods' & take a jump 'over the big pond' instead?
Imagine how good the dark meat will taste served with Quiche Lorraine & Crepes Suzette?
Or be enjoyed in the shadow of 'Big Ben'?
Flights to Paris & London fall to some of their lowest of the year & - besides only gaining a belt size from over stuffing their pie holes - your family could also actually gain some culture.
Or - at the very least - frequent flyer miles.
4. Change Your Holiday Dates.
Why be a slave to 'Nov Thurs the Last' or Dec 25? Be bold, change the date of your holiday celebration & save a ton of coin.
Two of the cheapest times to fly are the week after Thanksgiving & the week after New Years.
Why? All the other saps dropped a wad during the two previous weeks & haven't a penny extra to spend. Plus most of them DID travel the week before & rarely fly 2 weeks in a row.
Creative date celebrants will see 'cheap seats a plenty' & non existant crowds.
Plus, if Great Uncle Wilbur lives by a Florida beach - you will practically have it to yourself.
5. Get Professional Help.
Despite what most people think, not every airline seat is listed on the 'net.
A no charge call to a travel consultant - like me - can often save you a bundle.
6. Have Holidays At Your House.
Ok, you won't be actually flying but now - intead of you - your relatives will be screwed into taking out the 2nd mortgages for the tickets.
And pilly Aunt Sophie (with her possibly in-bred brood) may scoff at the cost & be 'no-shows'.
Definitely a double win.
The sad truth is that the price of T'day & Xmas flights are up - depending on which web 'air fare compare' site you check- from 8% to a whopping 18% over last year.
And even at that price most seats (over 80%) are already booked.
Yowsa!
Ok, before you cancel the candied yams, comb your closet for 're-gifts' & tell Grandma that she'll be gumming the drumstick solo, there are a few things you could do to avoid bankrupcy & still fly those a 'little less friendly' skies:
1. Use Alternate Routes.
A seemingly out of the way stop or two on way to your 'chosen celebration city' could lower costs.
True, it will take you longer to get there, but it will also take longer to get you to the poor house.
2. Try Alternate Cities.
Ok, we know Auntie Grezelda lives in the big city close to a large international airport, but many big cities have smaller airports in smaller burgs a reasonable train or car ride away.
Check these out. The $avings may $tuff some holiday $pirit back in your $tocking.
3. Celebrate In Europe.
How about forgetting 'over the river & through the woods' & take a jump 'over the big pond' instead?
Imagine how good the dark meat will taste served with Quiche Lorraine & Crepes Suzette?
Or be enjoyed in the shadow of 'Big Ben'?
Flights to Paris & London fall to some of their lowest of the year & - besides only gaining a belt size from over stuffing their pie holes - your family could also actually gain some culture.
Or - at the very least - frequent flyer miles.
4. Change Your Holiday Dates.
Why be a slave to 'Nov Thurs the Last' or Dec 25? Be bold, change the date of your holiday celebration & save a ton of coin.
Two of the cheapest times to fly are the week after Thanksgiving & the week after New Years.
Why? All the other saps dropped a wad during the two previous weeks & haven't a penny extra to spend. Plus most of them DID travel the week before & rarely fly 2 weeks in a row.
Creative date celebrants will see 'cheap seats a plenty' & non existant crowds.
Plus, if Great Uncle Wilbur lives by a Florida beach - you will practically have it to yourself.
5. Get Professional Help.
Despite what most people think, not every airline seat is listed on the 'net.
A no charge call to a travel consultant - like me - can often save you a bundle.
6. Have Holidays At Your House.
Ok, you won't be actually flying but now - intead of you - your relatives will be screwed into taking out the 2nd mortgages for the tickets.
And pilly Aunt Sophie (with her possibly in-bred brood) may scoff at the cost & be 'no-shows'.
Definitely a double win.
Monday, October 17, 2011
CHARLESTON BREAKS SAN FRAN'S HEART
For 24 years, the almost 30 million readers of Conde Nast have voted for the best hotels, resorts, cities (& more) for travelers to visit.
Friday they announced the winners for 2011.
A surprise - for the 'Best US City' - voters stopped leaving their hearts (& votes) in perennial favorite San Francisco.
Instead they opted for the history & southern charm of Charleston, SC.
And it's about time. This is a city that has everything:
Wide cobblestone streets.
Tree lined parks.
Sea breeze cooled quaint, colorful neighborhoods.
Beautiful fountains.
Unique stops...
...and restaurants.
History by the bushel.
And a slower, less frenetic way of life.
Plus the place oozes with a gentle, easy southern hospitality & the 'just right' year round temperature.
It might just be the perfect place to visit or even relocate.
BTW, the entire 'Top 10' list is:
1 Charleston, S.C.
2 San Francisco
3 Santa Fe
4 Chicago
5 Honolulu
6 New York
7 Savannah
8 Carmel, Calif.
9 Seattle
10 Boston
Sunday, October 16, 2011
FREE AIRPORT COOKIES
Even if your flight was delayed, your luggage flew to Europe without you & the Guinness 'world record crying baby' was your seat mate, you still may have something to smile about at this US airport.
How about a big, tasty - & 100% free - cookie?
That's right kids. Fly into Indiana's Fort Wayne International & you'll be rewarded with a no charge sweet treat.
Made across the street from FWI at a local bakery, volunteers personally hand each flyer a wrapped, delicious sugar cookie everyday until 8:30 at night.
Do not fear - late arrivals will not go 'cookie-less'. A self service 'cookie kiosk' is well stocked with baked rewards.
So far, over a million have been served costing the airport something like 16 grand a year.
Officials say this airport PR stunt has really taken off & replaced tired frowns with enough smiles to make this freebee really fly.
One question does remain - who's supplying the milk?
How about a big, tasty - & 100% free - cookie?
That's right kids. Fly into Indiana's Fort Wayne International & you'll be rewarded with a no charge sweet treat.
Made across the street from FWI at a local bakery, volunteers personally hand each flyer a wrapped, delicious sugar cookie everyday until 8:30 at night.
Do not fear - late arrivals will not go 'cookie-less'. A self service 'cookie kiosk' is well stocked with baked rewards.
So far, over a million have been served costing the airport something like 16 grand a year.
Officials say this airport PR stunt has really taken off & replaced tired frowns with enough smiles to make this freebee really fly.
One question does remain - who's supplying the milk?
TOO SHY TO BE A NUDE MODEL?
Do you dream of throwing all your clothes to the tarmac, baring your bottom (& top) as a nude model at - of course - romantically beautiful international sites?
Uh.... perhaps.... but - in reality - you're just too damned shy?
Well, how about if you posed with - say - a couple hundred (or so) of your soon to be closest friends?
Mexico City 2007
Hey, maybe misery isn't the only thing that likes company.
If this sounds like you, contacting Spencer Tunick should be on your bucket list.
Because, since 1992, ol' Spence has staged, shot & videoed more than 75 naked multi-bodied 'installations' around the world.
Miami Beach 2007
And he'd like you to be starring in one of his next photo ops.
Montreal 2001
Imagine the thrill of knowing you're the body 4 rows back & 8 people east of the center street light?
Priceless.
Ok, it's too late to pose in his next scheduled shoot at the 'Dead Sea' - his model list is filled.
But you can sign up for the next one at:
http://www.spencertunick.com/sign_up.php
New York 2003
You'll have to fill out an application that asks your name, age, address, email, sex & occupation (naming your job is optional).
But he does want you to pick one of 7 colors that is to closest match to your skin tone.
Hey, the guy is an artist & probably likes to mix & match a few textural hues to add contrast to the overflowing privates & penises.
France 2005 (Notice the 'hues')
Spence promises that you will only have to be nude for 'a short period of time' (not good for the exhibitionist faction), there will be staff to assist you (How? By saying things like: 'Ok, Mr. Yuken, it's now time to drop your drawers.' ?) & only participants will be allowed in the vicinity (another exhibitionist no, no).
But everyone gets a limited edition print of the event that you can proudly display at your next PTA or DAR meeting.
Brazil 2002
And - depending on the actual photo site - you could come away with an all liberating group experience...
Montauk 2009
... & maybe a full body tan.
Think Spence springs for the Coppertone?
Think Spence springs for the Coppertone?
Friday, October 14, 2011
A WINNING COMBO OF PLANTS & ART
If - like us - you're into art & gardens, are anywhere near Chapel Hill, NC in the next month & like to pay zero for an attraction, then the 23rd Annual 'Sculpture In the Garden' is for you.
Ok, I know October isn't the best month to see a garden in bloom. But the 800 acre UNC Botanical Garden does have some fall color:
There are enough water lilies to make Monet happy.
Plenty of tall, shady trees.
And even a few meat eaters to make things interesting.
Plus there's the herb garden, fern collection, 3 habitats (Sandhill, Coastal Plain & Mountain), poisonous plant area, raised walkways, ponds, bridges, Paul Green's cabin, miles of hiking paths & a giant chess set to play a game or 2.
And now through November 19, there are 53 sculptures on display throughout the garden.
A lot of the art is kid friendly.
There are even some sculptures that encourage you to take a load off (there are 800 acres to cover after all).
And you might even strike up an interesting conversation with a new found friend.
Ok, I know October isn't the best month to see a garden in bloom. But the 800 acre UNC Botanical Garden does have some fall color:
There are enough water lilies to make Monet happy.
Plenty of tall, shady trees.
And even a few meat eaters to make things interesting.
Plus there's the herb garden, fern collection, 3 habitats (Sandhill, Coastal Plain & Mountain), poisonous plant area, raised walkways, ponds, bridges, Paul Green's cabin, miles of hiking paths & a giant chess set to play a game or 2.
And now through November 19, there are 53 sculptures on display throughout the garden.
A lot of the art is kid friendly.
There are even some sculptures that encourage you to take a load off (there are 800 acres to cover after all).
And you might even strike up an interesting conversation with a new found friend.
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