Oh those characters at Ryanair!
You know, Europe's 'el cheapo' airline.
Remember a few years ago when CEO Michael O'Leary caused a minor uproar by announcing that business class seats on longer flights would include B&B service?
No, that doesn't stand for 'Bed & Breakfast' but 'Beds & Blowjobs'.
'I can't think of a better way to spend a 5 hour flight,' he quipped.
Don't believe me? Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWswpjtCe5I&feature=related
Well now O'Leary is toying with including inflight porn on all planes.
And you thought the sky couldn't get any bluer.
His plan is to let passengers log into a Ryanair 'app' using their iPads or smartphones.
Then they could then pay to play games, gamble or watch what he originally planned to offer business travelers on those long flights.
'Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?'
True, but the parent across the aisle might not want Junior enjoying the gyrations of Jesse Jane with his yoo hoo & inflight pretzels.
'I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see,' O'Leary responded.
'It would be on a handheld device.'
He didn't mention what would be in the passenger's other hand.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
ROOMS WITH THE BEST SEA VIEW
How d'ya like to stay in a hotel with an unbelievable waterfront view?
Welcome to Key Largo's Jules' Undersea Lodge. Designed in the early 1970s as an experimental research center (& anchored neath 100' of Puerto Rican water), it was redone a decade later & moved to Florida as the world's first underwater hotel.
Named after sci-fi icon Jules Verne (of '20 Thousand Leagues Under The Sea' fame), J.U.L. has all the amenities of most land bound hotels - air-conditioning, hot showers, comfy-enough beds, stereo music, VCR/DVD, a fully stocked galley plus it offers unlimited scuba - in a protected, safe area - for certified divers.
Here's the layout:
And their keyless front entry :
Ok, non divers must go through a 3-hour crash course in scuba diving on check in.
Hey, the hotel entrance is 21 feet underwater. It just might ruin your weekend getaway if you drown trying to get in the front door.
But once inside, resurfacing becomes your option. The place is loaded with all the scuba tanks you can breathe.
And you can eat all meals 'in'. Dinner and breakfast are provided by the world’s only “mer-chef” and delivered promptly at 6:00PM (dinner) and 8:00AM (breakfast).
'Jules' is right in the middle of Key Largo Undersea Park, a major dive training spot. In this sheltered deep-lagoon you can get scuba certified or take a fascinating dive/snorkel look-see.
Besides the J.U.L. there's a marine archaeology exhibit & the MarineLab underwater research/education habitat:
A. Anchor B.Balast Stones C. Cannons D. Atocha Ingots E. Training Platform F. Down Lines
OK, as you can imagine, the place ain't cheap.
Overnight packages are about $500 - $600 per person, but if there's 4 of you (& you opt for the cheaper - less extensive - 'european' plan) you'll drop $325 each.
Their Super Duper Lovers' Package is a heart stopping $1,395 per couple.
If you only want to check out the joint for 3 hours - no over night stay - you can float in & out for $125 each.
But - for the thriftiest of the thrifty - you can see it (without entering the underwater abode) for $15.
That gets you a day of snorkeling the entire KLUP - and they'll throw in all the gear.
Now all you have to do is hold your breath - and clear your ears - for a 21' dive:
... and that underwater 'peeper' could be you.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
A POPULAR PLACE TO LOSE YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY
Do you know what this is?
No, not a Gabby Hayes Memorial.
How about this?
Ot this?
And this?
Ok, these are all examples of one of the hottest family travel destinations in the country - and it's rapidly growing to other parts of the world.
It's a place where you can take your entire clan, tell them all to 'get lost' & they'll love you for it.
You've been looking at 4 (of the over 100) 'Corn Field Mazes' that are found throughout the USA.
Basically, these are intricately designed mazes (some with themes based on movies like 'Pirates of the Corn-ribbean'), cut out of working corn fields that have become a fun stop for famiilies & a new, very profitable cash crop for the family farm.
Although many feel the best time to visit is September & October, corn does grow in different months in different parts of the country. Usually any time between August & November should work, but check with your preferred maze farm location to get their opening hours, days & months.
And if it's raining (or the ground is still wet), take the gang to an indoor movie instead.
Mazes also vary in price & size. Always ask in advance to make sure it meshes with your pocketbook & your family's talents.
Don't be surprised if some mazes offer hayrides, petting zoos, cookouts, bonfires, discount prices for groups like your Boy Scout troop & other add ons.
Old Macdonald still has the farm, but has picked up a few entrepreneurial skills as well.
Corn Mazes America (a professional maze design company - there are a few of these) has made a very helpful interactive map listing many USA CMs:
You can actually use the map at their web site:
http://www.cornmazesamerica.com/directory.htm
Then choose a state, pick out a maze, check the particulars, bundle the kids -
And go get lost.
No, not a Gabby Hayes Memorial.
How about this?
Ot this?
And this?
Ok, these are all examples of one of the hottest family travel destinations in the country - and it's rapidly growing to other parts of the world.
It's a place where you can take your entire clan, tell them all to 'get lost' & they'll love you for it.
You've been looking at 4 (of the over 100) 'Corn Field Mazes' that are found throughout the USA.
Basically, these are intricately designed mazes (some with themes based on movies like 'Pirates of the Corn-ribbean'), cut out of working corn fields that have become a fun stop for famiilies & a new, very profitable cash crop for the family farm.
Although many feel the best time to visit is September & October, corn does grow in different months in different parts of the country. Usually any time between August & November should work, but check with your preferred maze farm location to get their opening hours, days & months.
And if it's raining (or the ground is still wet), take the gang to an indoor movie instead.
Mazes also vary in price & size. Always ask in advance to make sure it meshes with your pocketbook & your family's talents.
Don't be surprised if some mazes offer hayrides, petting zoos, cookouts, bonfires, discount prices for groups like your Boy Scout troop & other add ons.
Old Macdonald still has the farm, but has picked up a few entrepreneurial skills as well.
Corn Mazes America (a professional maze design company - there are a few of these) has made a very helpful interactive map listing many USA CMs:
|
You can actually use the map at their web site:
http://www.cornmazesamerica.com/directory.htm
Then choose a state, pick out a maze, check the particulars, bundle the kids -
And go get lost.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
YOU CAN WALK A STAR STUDDED HOLLYWOOD RED CARPET - FOR A PRICE
Yes, you can attend a major Hollywood event - complete with some big time, former 'name above the title' movie stars - & stroll down a genuine Tinseltown red carpet, to boot.
And you don't need to be on the 'A list' to snag a seat. Just some advanced planning & - oh, yes - a fist full of ready, 'A list' like ca$h.
Cable's Turner Classic Movie channel is having their 3rd Classic Film Festival right in the heart of Hollywood April 12 -15. Passes go on sale this Wednesday, November 9.
The list of films will make any 'Golden Age' fan swoon.
Opening with the world premier of the 40th anniversary restoration of 'Caberet' (has it really been 40 years?) & including other restorations like 'All Quiet On The Western Front' (1930) - arguably the best anti-war film ever made, 'Casablanca' (1942), 'Wings' (1927) - winner of the 1st 'Best Picture' oscar (& still some of the best aerial footage ever filmed) - & -as part of the 100th birthday celebration of Gene Kelly - 'Singing In The Rain'.
Yes, you can see all of these - and more - on TV for free. But cinema purists - & TCM accountants - believe they only place to see these gems is on a big screen.
And what big screens they have.
All films are scheduled at these Hollywood iconic palaces: Grauman's Chinese (you know, the place with all the stars cement hand/footprints), Chinese 6, Egyptian & Music Box theatres.
And as MGM used to brag: they'll be more stars here then there are in heaven.
Ok, the list hasn't been finalized (nor published) - and most haven't carried a film for at least a couple of decades or so - but at past fests ex-celluloid super stars like Kirk Douglas, Julie Andrews, Jon Voight, Jane Powell, Martin Landau, Luise Rainer ( the 1st to win back to back Best Actress awards for 'The Great Ziegfield' & 'The Good Earth') & even Mel Brooks - plus dozens of others - have shown up.
So you'll have more old star encounters than Captain Kirk & the crew of the Enterprise.
Plus there's a Club TCM in the Blossom Room of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. It's loaded with special events, lectures, programs, history (it's the site of the 1st Oscars) & plenty of 'popping in' stars to hang out with.
And don't forget the scheduled uber Hollywood parties, a chance to meet TCM's 'film know it all' host Robert Osborne & your red carpet walk.
Of course - like I said - all of this yesteryear movieland glamour doesn't come cheaply.
In fact, TCM prices this as if we all have the salaries of the 'A list Golden Agers' - when they were the 'toasts' of the studio system.
There are 4 levels of passses:
1. The “Matinee” Festival Pass includes all film programs at all festival venues, admission to Club TCM events and panels at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel and a commemorative festival program.
However, this is only good for anything that happens before 6pm (hence the 'Matinee' moniker) & you won't be walking on anything red.
Except - maybe - for all the red ink on the 'post due' bills you didn't pay to invest in this pass.
Cost: $299 per. Ouch, but it does get worse.
2. The “Classic” Festival Pass: access to all film programs at festival venues any time of day or night, access to all Club TCM events, Friday and Saturday evening passholder gatherings, poolside screenings, an opening-night welcome reception at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, the closing-night event and the ever present commemorative festival program.
Better.
BUT THIS DOES NOT include admittance to the opening night red-carpet gala screening at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre nor the Vanity Fair opening night party.
So still no red carpet caresses for your tootsies.
Hey, what do you expect for a mere $499?
3. The “Essential” Festival Pass: all privileges available to “Classic” passholders, plus entry to the opening-night red-carpet gala screening of 'Cabaret' at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and official TCM Classic Film Festival collectibles (What? - a picture of TCM owners laughingly carrying their pass profits all the way to the bank?).
But, finally feet meet a red rug - for $599.
Then there's 'mother' of all passes:
4. The “Spotlight” Festival Pass: all privileges available to “Classic” and “Essential” passholders, plus entry to an exclusive Vanity Fair opening-night party following the red-carpet gala screening of Cabaret at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre; priority
entry to all events; meet-and-greet events with TCM friends hosted by Robert Osborne; and an official TCM Classic Film Festival poster signed by Osborne.
Yahoo! The poster alone is worth double the pass price for true fans. It's...ahem... $1,119.
No, that wasn't a misprint - $1,119!?! - & that doesn't include plane nor hotel costs.
Nor a happy ending date with Debbie Reynolds.
But 'true fans' probably are the only one's who can afford these ducats.
And you know who I mean.
The ones who spent zero cash during the other 51 weekends of the year because they were watching old black & whites on the tube while masterbating to their WW2 Betty Grable pin up.
Or - more likely - to last year's Osborne signed poster.
And you don't need to be on the 'A list' to snag a seat. Just some advanced planning & - oh, yes - a fist full of ready, 'A list' like ca$h.
Cable's Turner Classic Movie channel is having their 3rd Classic Film Festival right in the heart of Hollywood April 12 -15. Passes go on sale this Wednesday, November 9.
The list of films will make any 'Golden Age' fan swoon.
Opening with the world premier of the 40th anniversary restoration of 'Caberet' (has it really been 40 years?) & including other restorations like 'All Quiet On The Western Front' (1930) - arguably the best anti-war film ever made, 'Casablanca' (1942), 'Wings' (1927) - winner of the 1st 'Best Picture' oscar (& still some of the best aerial footage ever filmed) - & -as part of the 100th birthday celebration of Gene Kelly - 'Singing In The Rain'.
Yes, you can see all of these - and more - on TV for free. But cinema purists - & TCM accountants - believe they only place to see these gems is on a big screen.
And what big screens they have.
All films are scheduled at these Hollywood iconic palaces: Grauman's Chinese (you know, the place with all the stars cement hand/footprints), Chinese 6, Egyptian & Music Box theatres.
And as MGM used to brag: they'll be more stars here then there are in heaven.
Ok, the list hasn't been finalized (nor published) - and most haven't carried a film for at least a couple of decades or so - but at past fests ex-celluloid super stars like Kirk Douglas, Julie Andrews, Jon Voight, Jane Powell, Martin Landau, Luise Rainer ( the 1st to win back to back Best Actress awards for 'The Great Ziegfield' & 'The Good Earth') & even Mel Brooks - plus dozens of others - have shown up.
So you'll have more old star encounters than Captain Kirk & the crew of the Enterprise.
Plus there's a Club TCM in the Blossom Room of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. It's loaded with special events, lectures, programs, history (it's the site of the 1st Oscars) & plenty of 'popping in' stars to hang out with.
And don't forget the scheduled uber Hollywood parties, a chance to meet TCM's 'film know it all' host Robert Osborne & your red carpet walk.
Of course - like I said - all of this yesteryear movieland glamour doesn't come cheaply.
In fact, TCM prices this as if we all have the salaries of the 'A list Golden Agers' - when they were the 'toasts' of the studio system.
There are 4 levels of passses:
1. The “Matinee” Festival Pass includes all film programs at all festival venues, admission to Club TCM events and panels at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel and a commemorative festival program.
However, this is only good for anything that happens before 6pm (hence the 'Matinee' moniker) & you won't be walking on anything red.
Except - maybe - for all the red ink on the 'post due' bills you didn't pay to invest in this pass.
Cost: $299 per. Ouch, but it does get worse.
2. The “Classic” Festival Pass: access to all film programs at festival venues any time of day or night, access to all Club TCM events, Friday and Saturday evening passholder gatherings, poolside screenings, an opening-night welcome reception at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, the closing-night event and the ever present commemorative festival program.
Better.
BUT THIS DOES NOT include admittance to the opening night red-carpet gala screening at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre nor the Vanity Fair opening night party.
So still no red carpet caresses for your tootsies.
Hey, what do you expect for a mere $499?
3. The “Essential” Festival Pass: all privileges available to “Classic” passholders, plus entry to the opening-night red-carpet gala screening of 'Cabaret' at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and official TCM Classic Film Festival collectibles (What? - a picture of TCM owners laughingly carrying their pass profits all the way to the bank?).
But, finally feet meet a red rug - for $599.
Then there's 'mother' of all passes:
4. The “Spotlight” Festival Pass: all privileges available to “Classic” and “Essential” passholders, plus entry to an exclusive Vanity Fair opening-night party following the red-carpet gala screening of Cabaret at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre; priority
entry to all events; meet-and-greet events with TCM friends hosted by Robert Osborne; and an official TCM Classic Film Festival poster signed by Osborne.
Yahoo! The poster alone is worth double the pass price for true fans. It's...ahem... $1,119.
No, that wasn't a misprint - $1,119!?! - & that doesn't include plane nor hotel costs.
Nor a happy ending date with Debbie Reynolds.
But 'true fans' probably are the only one's who can afford these ducats.
And you know who I mean.
The ones who spent zero cash during the other 51 weekends of the year because they were watching old black & whites on the tube while masterbating to their WW2 Betty Grable pin up.
Or - more likely - to last year's Osborne signed poster.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
KING OF POP JOINS THE CIRQUE............ DISCOUNT TIX AVAILABLE
As every Michael Jackson fan probably already knows, his estate crossed white gloves with the Cirque de Soleil to produce the very loud, visually busy, very spectacular, multimedia, live (except for you know who) production of 'Michael Jackson The Immortal World Tour'.
Ok, this is no MJ bio - there's nary a facelift, pep pill, court appearance, window dangling infant, skin bleach nor 'little boy wearing sleepover pajamas' in sight.
Instead we have a celebration of all positive things Michael - his music, moves, energy & spirit.
It speeds at a Neverland roller coaster pace in that surreal 'Cirque de' style that always includes impossible body bending acrobatics, bigger than life sets, colorful costumes, their famous frenetic - 3 ring squared - direction
And, yes, a story-line that makes three quarters of any audience scratch their heads in unison & wonder at the finale, 'What the hell was that all about?'.
I mean there is some high falutin gobbleygook about a 'giving tree' & more than a few allusions trying to equate 'Pop's King' with 'global peace' & 'saving even those children who didn't spend the night'.
Come on. It's very difficult to give gravitas to a man/child who had an amusement park/zoo built outside his bedroom window & spent a good portion of his waking hours trying to transform his kisser into Diana Ross.
Hey, I was within 3 feet of the cat about a decade ago & all I felt - gazing at that porcelain death mask mug - was 'creepy'.
But you have to honor the performer's talent.
And that's exactly what the Soleil-ers do. So take your critical thinking caps off & enjoy the spectacular ride for what it is - an A-1 night of multimedia, mind boggling entertainment.
Let's face it, have you ever seen a 'C de S' show that you didn't like?
Beginning last month in Montreal, the 60 city - or so - North American tour will be on the road 'til next August in Salt Lake City.
Rumor has it that the 60 mil show sold 40 mil in tickets way before opening night.
So ducats are rare & costly, right?
Well, our friends at Travelzoo announced that cheaper seats are available for MJTIWT Vegas Mandalay Bay stop:
'Discounted tickets to the show, including some of the best seats in the house, are available Dec. 6-23. Performances are Tuesdays-Sundays at 7 p.m. and 10 p.m.:
Category 3 ... $64 (reg. $80)
Category 2 ... $100 (reg. $125)
Category 1 ... $140 (reg. $175)'
http://www.travelzoo.com/entertainment/las-vegas/-64-Vegas-Premiere-Michael-Jackson-by-Cirque-du-Soleil-1128764/?ptl=done&rating=&tppct=
Ok, they're not exactly giving them away & you have to add on plane fare, hotel, gambling losses... but is there really a better venue to see this rockin' & rollin' circus than Sin City?
For folks who rather see the 'gloved one' closer to their backyards, here's the entire tour:
Red?!? I know, I can't read the dates either, but...
Check with your preferred venue - & search the 'net' - for other (possibly last minute) discounts that could also moon walk by.
That would make this MJ fan 'Thriller' experience, much more thrilling.
Ok, this is no MJ bio - there's nary a facelift, pep pill, court appearance, window dangling infant, skin bleach nor 'little boy wearing sleepover pajamas' in sight.
Instead we have a celebration of all positive things Michael - his music, moves, energy & spirit.
It speeds at a Neverland roller coaster pace in that surreal 'Cirque de' style that always includes impossible body bending acrobatics, bigger than life sets, colorful costumes, their famous frenetic - 3 ring squared - direction
And, yes, a story-line that makes three quarters of any audience scratch their heads in unison & wonder at the finale, 'What the hell was that all about?'.
I mean there is some high falutin gobbleygook about a 'giving tree' & more than a few allusions trying to equate 'Pop's King' with 'global peace' & 'saving even those children who didn't spend the night'.
Come on. It's very difficult to give gravitas to a man/child who had an amusement park/zoo built outside his bedroom window & spent a good portion of his waking hours trying to transform his kisser into Diana Ross.
Hey, I was within 3 feet of the cat about a decade ago & all I felt - gazing at that porcelain death mask mug - was 'creepy'.
But you have to honor the performer's talent.
And that's exactly what the Soleil-ers do. So take your critical thinking caps off & enjoy the spectacular ride for what it is - an A-1 night of multimedia, mind boggling entertainment.
Let's face it, have you ever seen a 'C de S' show that you didn't like?
Beginning last month in Montreal, the 60 city - or so - North American tour will be on the road 'til next August in Salt Lake City.
Rumor has it that the 60 mil show sold 40 mil in tickets way before opening night.
So ducats are rare & costly, right?
Well, our friends at Travelzoo announced that cheaper seats are available for MJTIWT Vegas Mandalay Bay stop:
'Discounted tickets to the show, including some of the best seats in the house, are available Dec. 6-23. Performances are Tuesdays-Sundays at 7 p.m. and 10 p.m.:
Category 3 ... $64 (reg. $80)
Category 2 ... $100 (reg. $125)
Category 1 ... $140 (reg. $175)'
http://www.travelzoo.com/entertainment/las-vegas/-64-Vegas-Premiere-Michael-Jackson-by-Cirque-du-Soleil-1128764/?ptl=done&rating=&tppct=
Ok, they're not exactly giving them away & you have to add on plane fare, hotel, gambling losses... but is there really a better venue to see this rockin' & rollin' circus than Sin City?
For folks who rather see the 'gloved one' closer to their backyards, here's the entire tour:
CITY | COUNTRY | DATE | |
|---|---|---|---|
CA | Now Playing | ||
CA | Opens on November 04, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on November 09, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on November 12, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on November 15, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on November 18, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on December 03, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on December 30, 2011 | ||
US | Opens on January 03, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 06, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 10, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 13, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 17, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 21, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 24, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on January 27, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 07, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 10, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 15, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 18, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 21, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 24, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on February 28, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 02, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 07, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 10, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 13, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 16, 2012 | ||
CA | Opens on March 20, 2012 | ||
CA | Opens on March 24, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 27, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on March 30, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on April 03, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on April 07, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on April 10, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on April 13, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on April 24, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on April 27, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on May 02, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on May 05, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on May 16, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on June 06, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on June 09, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on June 12, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on June 15, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on June 23, 2012 | ||
US | Friday, June 29, 2012 8:00 PM | ||
CA | Opens on July 06, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on July 13, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on July 17, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on July 20, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on August 03, 2012 | ||
US | Opens on August 21, 2012 |
Red?!? I know, I can't read the dates either, but...
Check with your preferred venue - & search the 'net' - for other (possibly last minute) discounts that could also moon walk by.
That would make this MJ fan 'Thriller' experience, much more thrilling.
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