To all you would-be Arab terrorists who planned on carrying explosives hidden deep inside your colostomy bags - my advice is to forget it.
The USA TSA has smelled you coming.
That's right & proving this point, TSA-ers recently manhandled - in a couple of separate aircraft saving incidents - not 1, but 2 senior cronettes who weren't quick enough in explaining the 'colostomy bag bump' in their pants.
And the fact that these two 'terror suspects' were almost 90 years old didn't even register on the super gate protectors' radar.
Hey, maybe even their walkers gave off a suspicious scent.
But thanks to on the ball inspectors' selfless zeal - all frequent flyers were saved from a potentially explosive bag of poop.
What these heroes won't do for God & country.
It seems that this latest battle of the 'bulge' began when eagle eyed NYC JFK screeners noticed the questionable protrusions, did a quick 'hand to body' frisk & immediately ordered the pair to strip.
I mean, who knew that a sack of #2 felt the same as an aircraft busting bomb?
Well, the 2 did drop trou, were allegedly groped by these air safety patriots who finally 'sniffed out' the non detonating 'c' bags.
The 2 grand dames were completely humiliated.
The next chapter will probably be written by the ladies' lawyers, but we all have learned a valuable lesson from this incident:
If you ever approach a TSA-er with a bulge in your pants - make sure its because you're really glad to see them.
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