Thursday, August 25, 2011

FREE THE "CONSTRUCTION WORKER IN YOU' AT NEW VEGAS DIG

For all you doctors, lawyers, dentists, business folk & everyone else out there who know that they've always had a manly construction worker secretly lurking inside - a new Vegas attraction offers the perfect solution.

'Dig This' - the 1st 'Heavy Equipment Playground' in the USA - has had its customers donning hard hats while operating real Caterpillar excavators & dozers since May.

The brainchild of Colorado's Ed Mumm,  this 'super sized sand box' offers numerous ways to play at 'heavy lifting', but all programs include the following steps:

CLASSROOM SAFETY & EQUIPMENT ORIENTATION is where trained instructors  review all equipment safety rules, controls & give you an overview of what 'earth moving feats' you will perform. You're issued a very, very bright safety vest and - the best part - your very own official 'Dig This' hard hat.

Hey, at that 'other place' you only get an overpriced pair of mouse ears. What wimps!

IN CAB ORIENTATION. You're buckled into the actual Caterpillar 315CL Hydraulic Excavator or the D5G Track-Type Tractor & Mr. Instructor goes over every control. Testosterone is rising.

WARM UP.  Via 2 way radios, Mr. I talks you through a few minor feats, giving you new found confidence - hopefully.

THE BIG DIG. This is it - a major 'dirt excavation' exercise! When - or if - you ace this, there could be two more digs - time & your pocketbook permitting.

AWARD CEREMONY. You're 'excellence in the field' is rewarded with an official Dig This Certificate of Accomplishment. Hooray, now you can finally replace that moldy old law/med/PHD diploma with something of real value.

RETAIL THERAPY. Following old Walt's 1st rule of all amusement attractions - always make them exit through the gift shop - now you get to buy all the 'Dig This' manly memorabilia  that your newly calloused hands can grab.

They even throw in a free shuttle from strip hotels. Yowza!

Ok,  before your necks get too red from all the excitement - be aware that having manly man fantasies do not come cheaply:

According to Dig owners, a 'BIG DIG' is the most popular ticket. Here you'll buy 3 hours & drive either a dozer or excavator (with all the above mentioned 'training' & digging) for $400.

A MEGA DIG is really a double Big Dig (you do both a dozer & excavator) where you can really leave your mark on Mother Earth for $750.

For those with shorter manly attention spans, the MINI DIG (90 minutes) is $210.

If you say that you can't put a price on manly fun, there's always the DIG & DIVOT (a DIG & 9 or 18 holes at Badlands Golf Club), EXCAVATE & EXFOLIATE ( a DIG & a trip to the Trump Spa) or DIG & DESTROY ( a DIG & shooting a sub machine gun, 12 gauge shot gun & machine gun).  Call them for costs.

Try any these and you may discover that the really BIGGEST DIG is in your wallet.

It's not easy (nor cheap) to be a man.

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