Saturday, August 27, 2011

IS IT TIME FOR THE LITTLE MERMAID TO RETIRE?




You've all seen the above statue. Ok, just in case, it's the famous 'Little Mermaid' that has been sitting in Copanhgen's Harbor since August 1913 (give or take a few months here and there - I'll explain later).

Commissioned after Carlsberg Beer Barron Carl Jacobson was smitten by ballerina Ellen Price's tutu as she 'plie -ed' through a Copanhagen Royal performance of 'LM',  Edvard Eriksen began sculpting it in 1909. Dame Price agreed to model (but not au natural) so Mrs. Eriksen was drafted as possibly one of the first recorded body doubles. 

Although the 'Wee Merm' is Denmark's top sight (with over a million gawkers yearly), it may be time to retire this tiny sea dweller for the following reasons:

1. LISTEN TO WHAT MANY OF THOSE 'MILLION' ACTUALLY SAY. When standing in front of her little-ness, you'll constantly hear some variation of the following: 'I didn't realize she was so small'.

Yes, the maid is a very under whelming  barely over 4' tall. Only the smallest children & maybe Danny Devito have to crain their necks in her presence.  After the few required pics and fewer seconds, most tourist are scrambling for the quickest cab to Tivoli.

2. PEOPLE REALLY DON'T LIKE HER. She has been abused like no other. Over the years the petite one has been: beheaded (at least twice), had her arms Venus de Milo-ed & been splashed with paint (usually red - although some thought she'd look pretty in pink) numerous times.  

Once, a very modest vandal painted her a bra. In '03 she blasted off her perch by a couple of  full sized sticks of dynamite.

More recently she's been draped in a burqa  & on March 8, 2006  (in honor of International Women's Day) she was splashed green, had the date written across her and a 'not so little' dildoe - the size of which may have made Ron Jeremy proud - was placed into her demure hand.

Is this the way you treat something that you like? I don't think so.

3. SHE'S BEEN GONE BEFORE. The miniscule miss left her rock a couple of times already & Copanhagen continued on just fine. There was, of course, the dynamite incident. And more recently she flew to China for almost a year for the 2010 Expo. People got accustomed to her not being there.

4. IT'S NOT EVEN THE ORIGINAL. What your traveling mega miles to see is only a copy. That's right. According to Wikipedia, the original is in the possession of Sculptor Eirksen's heirs in a secret location. If you want to see a copy watch Piers Morgan  any night instead of a Larry King rerun & save the air fair.

5. IT'S LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. One of the reasons for the height challenged one's popularity is where she sits. She's about a ten minute hike (on the way to town) from where the cruise ships dock. That's thousands of people everyday basically forced to walk by, so naturally they'll stop to take a look, thus inflating her numbers.

(By the way, eveyone not on crutches who sails into Copanhagan should avoid any ship sponsored tour and walk into town. It's a beautiful harborside stroll that ends at the picturesque Nyhavn Harbor - a great place to start discovering this unforgettable European city.)

But back to the question at hand, what could possibly take the place of the little one if she vacated her rock?

How about grander sized statue that is original, modern, only 5 minutes from the cruise ships, would look natural with anything you placed into her hand & would put a big smile on the faces of at least the male half of our international travelers? -



International travelers, let your voices be heard.

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