... thanks to how badly the gruff cow punching guide (Jack Palance's Oscar winning 'Curly') abused saddlesore easterner Billy Crystal on his western VaCa.
And you fear - no, you know - that your tenderfooted fam would blister at hearing even one discouraging word.
Well, worry no more. The 'Curlys' of the world are only found in the imagination of Tinseltown screenwriters & at 3 Stooges' retrospectives.
Today, dude ranches earn their spurs by being family friendly while roping in top marks as an all inclusive vacation stop.
That 'all inclusive' brand means comfortable lodging, 3 meals a day, horseback riding & a chuck wagonload of fun activities.
Many offer children & teen programs, evening entertainment, whitewater rafting, fishing, hayrides, campfire cookouts, overnight camping, cattle roundups & swimming.
There are pools, ponds and streams with beaches and decks.
Of course, if you just want the 'real old west experience' you can always dunk your head in the horse trough.
Some boast 18 holes, tennis courts, kayaks, scenic mountain top hot air balloon flights or even maid service & fine dining.
Yes, I said, 'maid service & fine dining'.
The sound you hear is Curly turning over in his grave.
But how do you choose the right one for all your little dudes & dudettes?
And maybe some bigger ones. Could Nana & Pop Pop been reining in secret visions of being Dale Evans & Roy Rogers atop Buttercup & Trigger?
The Colorado Dude & Guest Ranch Association can help you here.
They list all of 29 of their member ranches so you can compare locations, dates, activities & prices.
http://www.coloradoranch.com/find-ranches.php
They'll even send you a brochure, if you'd like.
http://www.coloradoranch.com/request-a-brochure.php
Read it carefully. There are ranches with nary a cow in sight.
Ok, the 'top of the season' price starts at just under 2 grand per adult (probably the ones sans cows) & the most expensive 'ranch' charges slightly over 4. That's all inclusive (even with taxes) for a week.
Not cheap, but you pay one price & basically can leave your wallet locked in the family saddlebag.
And - hey Dad - it's only $.
Your family, Dale & Roy & Curly would all agree, 'The best way to see the West is from the back of a horse.'
Much better than going anywhere while sitting next to a penny pinching horse's ass.
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