PILOT GETS CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN

From the 'You can't make this stuff up' department:


Last Wednesday, 'nature called' for the pilot of Delta 6132 about 1/2 hour from landing at LaGuardia.


Since this was a small plane (14 passengers), the entire crew consisted of a pilot, co-pilot & 1 flight attendant. 


Airline security protocol requires two people to be in the cockpit at all times so when the pilot left to leak, the lone flight attendant took his place in the driver's seat.


Ok so far.


But the pilot didn't return. 


As every frequent flyer knows, airlines have been cutting back on niceties for years. On this flight they obviously cut back on oiling the loo locks.


The pilot was stuck inside the airborne john. 


After several minutes of shaking, banging - and possibly launching more than a few 'F' bombs - a nearby passenger came to help, but the door wouldn't budge. 


The trapped pilot asked the 'good samaritan' to go to the cockpit & inform the crew of his predicament. 


He even gave the man a double 'secret password' the airline uses for cockpit access so the crew would know he was on the up & up.


Unfortunately, the passenger was foreign born & still had a bit of an accent.


Obviously fearing 9/11 part deux, the co-pilot heard the non-USA sounding voice, refused his entry & immediately called air traffic controllers.


'The captain has disappeared in the back, and uh, I have someone trying to access the cockpit,' radioed the Co-P. 


'I'm being told is he's stuck in the lav and someone with a thick foreign accent is giving me a password to access the cockpit and I'm not about to let him in.'


Air Traffic Control responded: 'You guys ought to declare an emergency and just get on the ground.'


Needless to say more than a few tense moments ensued.


But before anyone was able to launch the F-15s, the captain crashed through the crapper door & was back in the driver's seat.


'This is the captain,' he radioed. 'I'm back in the cockpit... uh... Lavatory door malfunction.'


The controller on the ground - whose only experience with 'malfunction' may have been watching the 'wardrobe' one at Super Bowl 38 - was skeptical. 


'I just want to make sure. Was there any disturbance in the airplane?"


'Negative,' the pilot responded. 'The captain - myself - was in the lavatory and the door latch broke and had to fight my way out of it with my body to get the door open.'


Just in case someone named 'Bin Laden' was on the passenger manifold, the FBI was called out in force.


The plane made an emergency landing at LaGuardia without
incident.


Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano & J. Edgar's ghost should both be proud.