'YOU'RE EATING WHAT?!?' AT THE FAIR

State fair food was always synonymous with hot dogs, hamburgers, fries, Philly cheesesteaks, corn dogs, shaved ice, big pretzels slathered in hot mustard, anything 'deep fried', a turkey leg or 2,  ice cream waffles, funnel cakes covered with a mini blizzard of powdered sugar...


... & cotton candy was definitely king. 


Vegans & calorie conscious customers be damned. Right?


How quaint.


After attending Raleigh's North Carolina State Fair last month, I realized that the most popular outdoor eats are no longer your grandfather's munchies.


What's being consumed in 2011 would have seemed - just a few years ago - to be the stuff of science fiction or the warped creations of mentally challenged culinary masochists.


Today, bigger is considered better.

In days of yore where - besides in Dr. Frankenstein's lab - would you even dream of chewing on a 5 lb gummy bear? 


Imagine the joy of loosening all of your fillings with just one bite.


And forget your piggy bank, bring what's left in your college savings fund to purchase a couple of these $25 babies.


But if your tooth is sweeter than your bank account, perhaps a giant gummy on a stick, gummy tongues, a gummy skull or (yum) gummy frog legs will do the trick. They're a steal at a fiver each.


Ok, 'anything fried' still is in vogue. But look what they're frying:

Deep fried Oreos?!? I think I'd rather take a bite of Tootsie's tootsies.

Even my pal Jackie - who came to the fair just to buy a bag full - obviously had some 2nd thoughts & needed some peer pressure...

... to get the little breaded black & white buggers past her lips. 


True Confession - less than 1/2 hour after this pic was snapped, all 3 enjoyed the benefits of these DFOs one more time - in the nearest restroom.


And for those who'd  consider Deep Fried Oreos a type of health food, say 'hello' to my little friends:

All I can say is, 'Deep Fried Pickle Chips!?!'


And just when you thought things couldn't get anymore stomach turning, along comes a:

Ok, those of you with weak stomachs, turn your faces from the screen & log off this blog right now.

Yes, my dears, it is a cheeseburger - loaded.


But instead of a 100% whole wheat bun, these sweethearts are bookended by 2 mega caloric Krispie Kreme donuts.


Glazed, of course.


Next I'd tell you about joys of sinking your teeth into a 'Koolickle' 


- that's a pickle fully soaked in cherry Kool Aid - 


but I'm too busy trying to... er... purge all...er... thoughts of Gummies, Goobers & deep fryers by ... er ... resting  my ... er ... self on the ... er ... most comfortable special chair in my ...er... favorite WC.


True Confession #2 - I passed the Guinness record for most flushes 5 minutes ago.