YOU, TOO, CAN SIT ON HALLOWED GROUND

Sure, you might have been to the Washington Monument, walked the battlefields of Gettysburg, strolled through the halls of Congress, marched up Bunker Hill & even toured the White House (yawn) - but how many of you have been to this modern historic site?

I didn't think so.


It's the Beachcomber Bar on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights, NJ. To some, the site of one of the most important confrontations of the 21st century. 

For this is the spot, my dear history buffs, where (during the 1st season of MTV's wildly popular 'Jersey Shore' series) Snookie was rewarded for her great wit & wisdom by a less than happy fan.


Yes, you are looking at the place where the height (& brain) challenged one was unceremonously knocked unconscious by what was rumored to be a 'not so solid' right hook. 


Obviously he jabbed before the Snook could seduce him with the patented 'NJ Turnpike' move - a gyrating 'ass to crotch' grind - that was demo-ed just last night (on 'The Office' & 'Hangover' star  Ed Helms) by another JS alum in front of an incredulous Jay Leno. 


Nevertheless, it became the punch seen around the entire cable world.

For many this is truly hallowed ground.

But - so we may never forget - the Beachcomber management has spared no expense memorializing the exact spot of this infamous cold cocking...

Sandy sits on history

...with a commemorative spray painted bar stool.

Unfortunately there is no chalk outline of her underpants-less body sprawled on the floor nor nary a picture of her chin to fist meeting.

And no Jersey Shore cast members are hanging around to describe the details.

But Sandy did find someone at the Beachcomber who was more, articulate, pleasant to be with & much better looking than any of those self proclaimed super stars.

And - consensus has it - he has a higher IQ than the entire JS cast combined.

IN VEGAS $148.99 GETS YOU 'ZIP'

When asked: 'How much have you won?' most Vegas visitors - if they're honest - reply 'Zip'. Some have actually dropped a small fortune.


Today 'Zip' could cost you a mere $148.99 without even entering a casino. And for that you could have enjoyed the ride of your life.


Just 30 minutes from LV's strip you could be soaring down from the top of Red Mountain. 





The Bootleg Canyon Zipline Tour is one of the longest in the USA and - arguably - the most scenic with views of Las Vegas, Lake Mead & the Eldorado Valley.


Pick up is at the Excalibur Hotel Casino. A bus takes you up Red Mountain where you have a 15 - 20 minute hike to the 1st 'zip' platform.  


Here - at 3,800 feet - you'll have a bird's eye view of Nevada. 


In a few seconds you'll be flying on the 1st of 4 very long zip lines. Ranging from just slightly more than 1,000 to over 2,500 feet, you'll reach speeds of up to 50 mph.


Whoosh!





The entire journey takes about 4 hours.


Be warned - you have to be under 250 lbs so try to limit your buffet  visits before zipping. And you better leave the sandals at home - only closed toed shoes are allowed.


And, yes, the $148.99 price is only if you book in advance & check out a web site -


http://www.alllasvegastours.com/body.asp?tour=LAS-Z0001&page=TourDetails&pref=02&aid=ltg1539&gclid=CKHmhYnCwKsCFcjb4AodLmvtvA


- that will give you coupon codes & zip times.


But, before booking, make sure you really are able (& want) to go. If you cancel 6 days before reserved time - you lose 50% of your ticket price. Ouch!


2 days before - or don't show up - and you lose everything. Worse than 'ouch'!


Then you'll really know the meaning of 'zip'.

IT'S NOT QUITE 'LEAPING LIZARDS', BUT YOU MIGHT GET SOME 'HOP' FROM THIS S.A. DRINK

Feeling sluggish? Asthma or bronchitis taking your breath away? 

Or - ahem -  there's not enough lead in your pencil?

Well, you might need a trip to Lima Peru to imbibe some 'extracto de rana'.  In simple English, that's 'frog juice'. And the Lima locals claim that is the cure for all of the above (and more).

To sip this 'Peruvian Viagra', you must go to a local market 'juice' stall where they openly display an aquarium filled with Kermit's cousins.

You even get to choose your main 'ingredient'. 

To be honest, I'm really not sure which frogs make the best 'juice.  Since you can't really squeeze them, do you look for the greenest? The fattest? The one who seems the happiest to see you?

Probably 'eenee, meanee, minee, moe' isn't a bad choice.

Then, the mixologist takes the 'chosen' from the tank, dispatches him (usually with a slam against a table or wall), skins & pops him into a blender with your choice of additives (maybe fruit juices, honey, aloe, some 'maca' - a local plant rumored to have aphrodisiac powers - or even some wine).

And after about a 60 second spin - voila - your drink is served. Usually in a soda fountain style glass.

Some say it tastes like a warm milk shake. Others can't seem to get the liquid past their lips without a quick trip to the nearest WC.

But the locals swear by it's curative & energy creating powers. Many drink it every morning just like many Americans & their Starbucks or Dunkins.

And at less than a buck per glass, it might be worth a try to see if it really can put a 'hop' into your step.

At worst - hey, at least you are (sort of) drinking 'green'.

HERE IT'S AN HONOR TO HAVE AN 'UGLY MUG'

Want to dine where it's a real honor to have an 'ugly mug'?

And you can even hang it from the ceiling.

Welcome to Cape May, NJ's 'Ugly Mug' restaurant/bar where the members of the 'Ugly Mug Club' display their unique drinking vessels with pride.

According to the club's self published history: 'Each member has his own mug, as they did in the old days of vaudeville & barbershop quartets' (You can bet that if anyone had started singing 'Sweet Caroline, with or without 4 part harmony, I'd have been out the door).

'Deceased members...are honored by having their mugs hung facing the ocean.' (Their club toast should be 'May your mug always face west').

And on the last Sunday in August they have a special event.  Everyone 'receives a glass of beer. The one who blows the most foam out of the glass becomes the United States National Froth Blowing Champion.'

As exciting as that sounds, I'm glad I was there mid-September.

But you don't have to be a member to enjoy a pint & a delicious meal at the 'Mug'.


I had their kielbasa sandwich special:

As you can see, it was as big as 2 normal sized sandwiches & tasty as 3. And it's possible that you won't be able to wash it down with only one pint of 'Ugly Mug Summer Ale'.


Sandy enjoyed their lobster roll:

Again it was big enough to share - but it's so delicious - who'd want to? 


But the real find is their unbelievable clam chowder. Definitely the best I've ever had in NJ & maybe the best I've ever had period.

BTW, my 'UM' was only pre-taste mugging for the camera. Once I actually had a spoonful, I was nothing but smiles.


A toast: 'May your taste buds soon enjoy the delights of this fine Cape May eatery & may your mug (no matter how ugly) always face west.'

'ON THE BOARDWALK IN ATLANTIC CITY...'

In 1946 they sang: 'On the boardwalk in Atlantic City, we will walk in a dream. On the boardwalk in Atlantic City, life can be peaches & cream'.

Atlantic City Circa 2011

That ditty was written when AC was a top tourist town, teeming with night clubs (Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis debuted here), luxurious ocean front hotels, seaside amusements for the entire family -

(including the Disneyland of the day - the 'World's Famous' Steel Pier - where for one low price you could see a national headliner or two, a kids talent show, a horse diving 20 or so feet into a large pool, springboard divers leaping 30 or so feet into the Atlantic & a couple of movies)

- & was the home of Miss America (when that contest - believe it or not - really seemed to matter). 

Of course that was 'pre'  the resort's 1950s-60s slide into seedy & 30 years before the introduction of legalized casino gambling.

Today, this poor man's Las Vegas hovers somewhere in limbo  between seemingly wanting to become a glamorous worldwide tourist destination while really being the place where tri-state bus hoppers go for their gambling fixes, discounted buffets & are able to be back home all in a few hours. 

The town does have its own unique touches.

At Caesars' indoor shopping Pier, there's an entertaining 5 minute 'dancing waters' show ever hour on the hour. Ok, it's not the Vegas Bellagio fountains, but on a smaller scale still has a 'wow' factor.

You can be 'pushed' along the boardwalk AC style via the town's version of a rickshaw.

Enjoy a large sized boardwalk game of Monopoly in the town the game board's based on.

Or 'remember' at the Korean War Memorial.

Yes, there are still top name acts headlining, but that seems to be more a weekend thing. On the Tuesday we were in town, there really wasn't much besides a version of 'Beatlemania' & a pseudo 'Cirq de Soleil' show advertising nude acrobats (where - hopefully - the trapeze artists are only caught by their hands).

Of course the casinos are as lavishly gaudy as any place in the world. And they're building more.

                          The futuristic 'Revel' will open sometime next year.

But even after 35 years of working on getting the gambling resort thing right, AC just can't seem to separate the sensational from the seedy. Go a few steps away from the Casinos & you are in places that you really might not want to walk late at night.

'Not so,' says my pal Stephan Caldwell who works backstage at AC shows. 'I always feel safe here.' And he's in town all hours of the day & night so he should know.

However - at the risk of being called an elitist profiler - after eye balling some of the local denizens, I think I'd stay only in the well lighted casinos after dusk.

There is one thing that could re-revitalize the non casino parts of this seaside town: shopping. No, not the shops on Caesars' pier - whose prices cause more eyes to pop & mouths to drop than  its 'dancing water' show - but the new mega-block outdoor Tanger Outlet Stores area.

This non-mall throwback to mid 1950s downtown shopping is just west of the boardwalk & - like all TO centers - gives you a lot of name brand bang for your shopping buck.

We actually saved enough at the Columbia outlet to afford a couple of hours at the slots & left town - via the very well lit & 'attached to the main casino without stepping onto the dark street' Caesars garage - with $2.21 worth of winnings in our pockets. Yahoo! 

The 'big winners' a couple of day-lit hours before pocketing the mega bucks.

WATCH OUT HARRY, 'THE BIG BLUES' ARE COMING TO TOWN

Obviously with their eyes on the mega lines (& mega bottom line) at cross town rival Universal Studio's Harry Potter attractions, Disney bean counters announced that they (with the paid aid of Jim Cameron) will open 'Avatar Land' at their Orlando site.




Ok, you don't have to rush out to buy your tickets today - ground breaking doesn't begin until 2013 with the 1st admission not until late 2016 or early 2017 - but the bosses at the Mouse House are betting that the fans of the most popular film in cinema history (almost $3 billion in world wide ducat sales) will find it impossible to stay away.


All are mum on what exactly is planned. And since there are two more Avatar films set to screen before the park opens, don't be surprised if some attractions will be based on those yet to be seen flicks.


But Cameron & Mickey's Boys promise that the $400 million park will give all their guests a true Pandora experience.


Wanna bet that one of the 1st rides will have something to do with training flying wild animals?

FOR $7 YOU CAN HAVE 20 FUN FILLED MINUTES INSIDE & ON TOP OF LUCY

For a mere 7 Washingtons,  how could you refuse such an offer?

Well, we did. 

Sandy reminded me that we still had about a month left of our 8 week road trip, so we kept the cash in our pockets. Now we can only imagine what it's like to 'climb the spiral staircase through her insides & all the way up to the howdah on her back, providing a spectacular 360 (degree) view of the surrounding shore area'.

Alas, I think we erred. 

We missed out on fully seeing the National Historic Landmark: Lucy - the world's largest elephant.

Born in 1881, this 6 story sweetheart - just a few minutes south of Atlantic City's boardwalk - was originally built by a land developer to draw attention to his beach front lots.

Throughout the years she has been visited by world leaders, royalty & US presidents (but - ahem - not by Sandy & me). She's served as a hotel, real estate office, residence & for a while was a tavern. Rumor has it she was almost burnt to the ground by inebriated revelers. 

                          You can view the ocean through her eyes - so I'm told.


By the 60s, she was more than showing her age. Scheduled to be leveled for a condominium, she was rescued in the 11th hour by a 'Save Lucy Committee' & was moved to her present site.


In 1976 she was named a National Landmark by the US government as the oldest surviving example of 'zoomorphic' architecture.


Today, after a million or so in cosmetic surgeries, the girl is better than new:

And, although I really don't know what she looks like on the inside (belly located museum & all), from one vantage point - if you look very carefully - you can tell...

 ... Lucy has a couple of little 'panes' in her -let's say - 'butt'.


And maybe a big 6' one standing directly below it.

ENJOY CAPE MAY'S 'PAINTED LADIES'

Those who are looking for a sex travel destination are going to be very disappointed.


For the rest of you, a very pleasant day, week, month or even a lifelong trip to Cape May - NJ's first (& oldest) seaside resort - just may be your 'A' ticket.


There are a ton of things to do here:

Whale & dolphin watching. 


Even when I lived in NJ, I had no idea that you could do this in my home state. I foolishly traveled all the way up to Boston for my Moby Dick encounters. The fact is - that until the industry died around 1850 - this was a major whaling town.

Climbing to the top of a working lighthouse.

Seeing a shipwreck without getting your feet wet.

Walking to a beachside World War 2 era bunker.

Finding 'Cape May diamonds' at Sunset Beach. 


Ok, these 'diamonds' are really quartz crystals (and yes in the raw they do resemble a sort of frosted white pebble.  And, Ok again, they only look like 'diamonds' with a bit of imagination & after being intro-ed to a rock tumbler), but they do flow in continuously & are very easy to spot. 

Strolling down the multi-block Washington Street pedestrian walkway filled with unique shops & restaurants.

Taking a romantic horse & buggy ride.

And then there's the swimming, fishing (CM is the 5th largest commercial fishing port in the US), crabbing, clamming, boating, 3 local wineries, world class bird watching & the sometimes spectator sport of sunbathing. 


But what makes this Cape truly unique is that the town is a National Historic Landmark thanks to it's circa 19th century Victorian houses.

However, since Victorians usually liked their homes to be painted in subdued, somewhat 'muddied' colors, these multi-hued beauties became known as 'painted ladies'.

The best way to see the 'ladies' is on foot. But the $10, 45 minute narrated tram tour gives you so much history & fun facts that it's worth the cost.


For example:

The room sticking out of the 2nd floor (on posts) is the indoor WC. Victorians were so proud at not having an outhouse that they built their 'johns' this way so their neighbors would know that they were rich enough to afford an inside 'crapper'. This design is called 'trading a path for a bath'.


Let's face it. You'd never know THAT by just looking at the house.


And for an extra $8, they'll throw in a stop (& inside tour) at the home of the CM's richest man - Dr. Physick.

It's money well spent - even if they won't let you take any pictures inside (they want you to buy an overpriced book at their gift shop instead).


And the tour ends in that gift shop about 30 minutes before the tram comes back to pick you up. 

My suggestion is to not wait the 30 and stroll back to the town center (about a 10 minute walk) enjoying the painted ladies & their sisters along the way.


We didn't, wasted a 1/2 hour waiting, had to stand on the tram (more people got on than off) so we could see very little & there wasn't one word more of narration (the guide got off to give a tour of   Physicks to another group).


But I did have the time to pose with the Doc's 1915 Model 'T'.

So maybe it was a wash.

PEDRO BECOMES POLITICALLY CORRECT

                                                  Pedro (large version) & Sandy (reg. size)

Yes, for mega miles as motorists approach the NC/SC I-95 line, 'Pedro' billboards are still hawking the 'about to be reached pleasures' awaiting all who exit at the 'South of the Boarder' food/junk food/gas/fireworks/leather/anything-that-some-sucker-may-buy stop.


But sometime during the last fifty or so years, Pedro has changed. Today instead of his 'highway hawks' sounding like a cross between 'Cheech' Marin & Bill Dana's Jose Jimenez ('Hey muchachos , dis eeess de place' or something like that) they now could've been penned by a Connecticut Caucasian.


Either the big 'P' was bitten by the politically correct bug or maybe he just went to Harvard.  Whatever the case - at the risk of sounding very non PC - the billboards aren't as effective, memorable nor half as much fun. 

Sandy & some health food purchases

However the place still puts the 'ch' in 'cheesy'. 

So it's always worth a nostalgic pit stop for a fill up, a box of Good N' Plenty & a few 'no other place like it' laughs.

  

WANT TO LIVE LIKE A MILLIONAIRE? VISIT CORDOBA.

Today it's difficult, if not impossible, to find a place to get a big bang for your US travel $. Right?


'Not so', says my friend Adrian Genesir - a South Carolina computer whiz - all you have to do is vacation in his native Argentina. He and his partner Peter spent 6 months living in the lap of South American luxury on the cheap (by US standards).


Cordoba is his city of choice. And it's not a bad one. As Argentina's 2nd largest city (Buenos Aires is 1st), it's loaded with culture, great buildings, great food & great people who will engage you in great conversations. 


But since - he says - the average salary here is about $12 thousand per year, your American paycheck puts you into upper class rich man status.


Don't be fooled - he warns - by the high price of apartments listed on the internet. These are for unsuspecting tourists. Instead, when you arrive check out the local paper for rentals. Here you'll find the much lower prices the locals pay.


Adrian says he had a maid for $1.50 per hour, bought fine food for about 1/4 the US price, could take a 20 minute cab ride for $4 & rented a high rise apartment for a little over $500 per month. Electricity & natural gas were about $10 & $4 each.


And Cordoba is a place where people 'work to live' not 'live to work'. Many people take daily siestas. Shops often close noon to 4 & re-open until 8 or 9 at night. Dinner is from 9-10 & bars open at 2am & close at 8am. Many go right from clubbing to church.


'The problem here,' says Adrian, 'is not when to go to sleep, but when to go out on the town.'


And if you go, be sure to try the local favorite 'mate' - a herbal brew sipped through a 'bombilla' (a type of straw) - that locals like to share while socializing.

                            Adrian & Sandy 'socialize' with 'mate'


'In Cordoba,' says Adrian. 'it's time for dinner when you're hungry. Time for bed when you're sleepy.  This city is very spontaneous.' 


If this all sounds like your cup of mate, perhaps a trip to Cordoba should be on your travel radar.

NO, IT'S NOT THE OUTER BANKS - BUT YOU CAN ENJOY THIS 10 MILE LONG BEAUTY FOR FREE

Believe it or not, this beautiful park is a mere five minute car ride from the exact spot where Snookie & her 'Jersey Shore' gang terrorize tourists with their 'all summer long' shenanigans. 


And you can escape to it for free if you use your head (& maybe your feet). 

Welcome to NJ's longest undeveloped barrier island beach - Island Beach State Park. But it wasn't supposed to be that way. As early as the mid 19th century there were several hotels & even a tavern here. 

                            Reed's Road  Maritime Forest Trail

In fact, you can even walk past the site of the historic Reed's Hotel on the above pictured trail. But if you do, bathe in bug spray. Sandy & I were almost lifted off the ground by blood sucking mosquito squadrons that seem to thrive on these damned trails. The ocean beach is basically bug-less.

   Great dunes dot the beach - basically bug-less especially if there's an ocean breeze

In the 1920's Henry C. Phipps bought the land with mega mansion development on his mind. But the place was saved from this richman's 'seaside sprawl' thanks to the depression (only 3 homes were built) & the state bought it in the 50s for just under 3 mil. The park opened to the public in 1959.

Today you can swim, fish, jog, hike, bird watch, nature trail it, register the kids for almost a dozen park programs, visit the Forked River Interpretive Center or simply see how the NJ coast was in the pre-boardwalk/amusement park ride days for $10 per car fee on summer weekends/holidays, $6 on summer weekdays & $5 for the rest of the year. 

With a special permit ($195 per year or $50 for the 3 day version) you can take your 4 wheel drive on the beach and fish 'til your heart's content.  You can also drive all the way to Inlet (the paved road stops 1 1/2 miles before) & see the famous Barnegat lighthouse.

But for those cash deprived, there are ways to beat the costs:

Yes, my friends, you can bike or walk in to the park for free. We do both. You don't even have to stop at the gate when you enter. Just go to the path on the right (west) of the 3 toll booths & you're home free.

                                          Take the path to the right of 3rd booth

Walkers can also enter on the ocean side by just walking down the beach. Years ago there used to be a fence & a 'Keep Out' sign. It's gone so you can stroll right in.


But we prefer to enter by the main gates where you are greeted by a celebrity:

                                          Smokey T. Bear & friend


See famous animal walks:

                 Sorry no sea turtles. Just the box & diamondback terrapin land variety.

And get to meet some up close.

According to Park literature, a Red Fox is supposed to be 'naturally wary of humans', but the dozen or so  we saw walked right by us and practically bumped into our legs.


Oh yes, there's one more way to get a freebee -  get old. Those 62 and above can receive a gratis 'Senior Citizen Pass'.