And that's what they are paid to do.
According to legend, after a very upscale eatery went belly up the founders' opted to take a new venture in the opposite direction. With paper tablecloths, a limited menu & treating the customers to hefty servings of abuse Dick's became an instant success.
Today there are Dick's in Nashville, Gatlinburg, Dallas, Myrtle Beach, Chicago, San Antonio, San Diego & Boston. Sandy & I visited their Baltimore branch.
Funny things do happen here.
A waiter told an older female customer who ordered shrimp that was served in two buckets on top of each other (one with the shrimp, the other for the peels) 'Here's something that you haven't heard for a long time, take your top off'. Ha, ha, ha. He was referring to the buckets. I think.
Every table is given at least one handmade paper hat (that a waiter fits snugly on to a patron's head). Each has a special saying written on it. A young man (who was with his wife & infant daughter) had a hat that read: 'Should have used a condom'. Ho, ho, ho.
A 20 something woman eating with her mother sported: 'Sorry Mom, but I like girls'. Hee, hee, hee.
And I wore the 'Older than dirt' chapeau. Hmmmm.
Anyway, you can also buy 'Dick's Stuff' like T shirts that boast 'We put the 'FU in Fun' or 'They have Hooters, We Have Dick's' & the much sought after 'I Need A Stiff One'. Har-dee-har-har.
Then you can order things like 'The Dolly': two really large chicken breasts. I'm sure Miss Parton must be laughing all the way to her lawyers.
But at dinner your smile may fade - you can't order sandwiches or even burgers. Why not? Isn't this basically a bar with insults?
Our waiter said if we wanted such grub we should go next door to the Hard Rock (The Hard Rock is next to Dick's? There has to be a joke in there somewhere). Sandy later said she wished we had taken his advice.
She has a point. The entrees start at around $17 & most are more. Your 1st draft will set you back about a ten spot (I couldn't believe it either) although your 2nd is a few bucks less. BTW, those hilarious Ts are a not so funny $20.
And the food is just 'Ok'.
The night before we had a better meal (& we overlooked the harbor to boot) across the street at the Chicago based Uno's for about 2/3rd the price.
But if you're with a group of conventioneers, your fraternity brothers or simply just haven't had enough abuse at home, Dick's just might give you a rise.
However, after enjoying an hour of insults, mediocre eats & paying a circa 2025 bill, you may feel - to quote Mr. Rickels - a bit like 'a hockey puck'.
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