Or - ahem - there's not enough lead in your pencil?
Well, you might need a trip to Lima Peru to imbibe some 'extracto de rana'. In simple English, that's 'frog juice'. And the Lima locals claim that is the cure for all of the above (and more).
To sip this 'Peruvian Viagra', you must go to a local market 'juice' stall where they openly display an aquarium filled with Kermit's cousins.
You even get to choose your main 'ingredient'.
To be honest, I'm really not sure which frogs make the best 'juice. Since you can't really squeeze them, do you look for the greenest? The fattest? The one who seems the happiest to see you?
Probably 'eenee, meanee, minee, moe' isn't a bad choice.
Then, the mixologist takes the 'chosen' from the tank, dispatches him (usually with a slam against a table or wall), skins & pops him into a blender with your choice of additives (maybe fruit juices, honey, aloe, some 'maca' - a local plant rumored to have aphrodisiac powers - or even some wine).
And after about a 60 second spin - voila - your drink is served. Usually in a soda fountain style glass.
Some say it tastes like a warm milk shake. Others can't seem to get the liquid past their lips without a quick trip to the nearest WC.
But the locals swear by it's curative & energy creating powers. Many drink it every morning just like many Americans & their Starbucks or Dunkins.
And at less than a buck per glass, it might be worth a try to see if it really can put a 'hop' into your step.
At worst - hey, at least you are (sort of) drinking 'green'.
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